Hey there! Welcome back to Focus on You! A podcast dedicated to the individual with something to say but not quite sure how to say it. And maybe doesn’t really know what they want to say, yet. I’m Dachia.
I am a soon to be work from home, full time dog mom. You can follow that journey and join me if you want, at dogmom.me
Now, last week, I ended the episode with a mention of happiness and said I’d get more into on this episode.
And here we are. The topic of happiness is definitely worthy of an episode of its own, because ultimately it is the goal, the priority… the reward we are all looking for.
Everything we do, is ultimately to reach a level of happiness. The goal of happiness is why I have my 24 month plan to be a full time stay at home dog mom.
Last week I mentioned Maslow and the hierarchy of needs. The top of that hierarchy is self-actualization. In my own personal research I’ve seen people correlate that tier with happiness.
Like that is when a person is finally at peace with himself and happy. And I think even Maslow made a comment about that achievement culminating in a person’s greatest and long-lasting happiness. To say that once you are self-actualized and living life fully at that level, you are generally a happy person.
But I think we can also take from his work that he felt that there was a lot of glossed over territory in those 4 tiers below it.
And Maslow’s hierarchy pyramid has been tweaked and completely redone by many psychologist and just thoughtful people trying to make sense of their own lives and the lives of the around them.
My feeling here is that a person can be living at 100% at each of the levels. No matter where a person is on the hierarchy, they can be living completely. Doing and expressing themselves completely, within the confines of that particular life cycle.
How about an analogy? You know how I love analogies. Long drawn out hard to follow analogies. But in my mind, perfect sense.
If we were to assume that real happiness and peace can only come after reaching that top tier of self-actualization, then we would not see happy and peaceful homeless people. Im not talking about the loons or the people that have simply given up. I’ talking about people who are truly at peace with their lives.
They are kind and joyful. And the biggest difference between these people and the stock broker with a mansion and 6 cars and drinking problem, is the homeless person is living his life more fully than the stock broker.
I’m not saying that all homeless people are blissfully happy… nor am I saying that rich stockbrokers are depressed. I’m paying that both have as much opportunity to be Happy and both can be living fully.
It’s not our circumstances or material possessions that dictate our happiness.
Imagine a person living in some sort of tribal community deep in an uncharted land… I think they are more likely to be truly happy than many of the people you would find on Rodeo Dr.
We’ve allowed ourselves to be indoctrinated into line of thinking where material possessions and status dictates our level of happiness… but that is a facade. We think we’ll finally have happiness when we achieve that mark. That goal.
And like that stockbroker previously mentioned, we aren’t happy because we’ve missed the point. It was never the reward for achieving a goal, it was the choice of living fully in pursuit of that goal.
When I decided to make my happiness my priority, end of last year, I took a little time and determined that hands down, when I’m at my happiest, is when I’m with my dogs.
I love my horses and cats and brother and neighbors and friends too… but I don’t have that same level of happiness with anybody but my dogs.
I live most fully in their presence.
I often feel a bit held back by people I spend time with, particularly in a work environment. Co workers who are not comfortable with my … whatever it is. And so to get along, I would be a bit smaller, not as smart, not as fast… and not as happy.
Work environments are not natural. They are created for groups. Colors that don’t offend. No offensive noises, or smells, or gestures… really anything because anything could be offensive ro somebody… so nothing except this little environment is acceptable.
And you can’t be a 100% in an artificial environment.
While I’ve believed this for quite some time, I still thought I needed to just do it because that’s what people did. Get a job, and try to save so that you could eventually leave that job.
And while I was generally happy, because outside that job, water it was, through the years or decades, I always had something else that I was doing and doing at 100%. I was writing, blogging, advising, speaking… building a website. Last year, Gary Vaynerchuk made some posts concerning happiness and I perked up. But he didn’t say anything I didn’t already know or feel… he did however say it… and in that, I started to think that it wasn’t just me. It wasn’t some silly idea I had, Gary had it too. There was something here.
So, throughout most of last year, I started making notes about who I was and who I wanted to be and what I really wanted to do with my life. And for the longest time, I would not just write down ”I want to be a stay at home dog mom.” That was just silly talk.
And I would listen to podcasts discussing side hustles or building a small business and heard so often someone say that what they were was a stay at home mom or dad. And that being at home with their children was when they were happiest.
I finally stopped dismissing this desire of mine to just be a stay at home dog mom.
There was nothing wrong with it. That’s when I was happiest. Thats when I was living my fullest.
I want to ask you to determine where you live your fullest and where you don’t. Where are you living your 100%? How can you live at 100% more and more and more?
And understand that, like me, you can still be pretty happy in life working for somebody else dream, as long as when you are on your own time you are living fully.
I’ll be back next week.
Oh, also, sorry.. one more thing… if you get something useful out of this podcast, I’d be grateful for a review wherever you listen to podcasts. If you don’t get anything out of this… why are you here? Bye for now.