I told ya’ll that the girlfriend, now ex, contacted me via message on Facebook. I did not respond for quite some time because I thought that it would just open up a wound and what good does that do me? However, she had a LOT to say and I read every word, again wondering if it was an accurate portrayal of events. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I knew Steven had lied to me, for a month, but so far she hadn’t.
I have to tell you, I hadn’t laughed so hard in the month previous. We started to compare notes and both agreed he was a great kisser and we both would have preferred to just make out than to actually have sex, because frankly he was just rubbish in bed.
ETA: I’ve a feeling that this is a characteristic of a sex addict. They are trying to fill a need of their own. They are in it for themselves. It is a very selfish experience. There is no real personal connection, just words designed to illicit compliance.
I said to her that he was better from behind and she said, ‘You say “better” But still not “great”… or even “good”….
And I shrugged and said “well… considering the rest of it, I thought it was great……”
Her: “Lol. If we are grading on a curve….”
Basically, we both determined that he has no fucking idea what he is doing. (ETA, while still true, as he is likely unaware of his compulsion, it was not what i meant when I wrote it)
And probably everybody he is with is thinking that maybe he can be taught. But he doesn’t have any interest in anybody but himself.
Case in point, she asked bluntly if I was ever satisfied in bed. Did he ever go down?
Answer to both questions is a resounding ‘no.’ It was kind of obvious my satisfaction was up to me, and while he encouraged it, I was thinking… hell, I can do this by myself… and better… and without him getting in the way, if you know what I mean. But for her to ask, and already know the answer… that’s just sad.
I told her she was a saint for putting up with all his affairs and lies and he’s not even good in bed.
The ex-girlfriend and I, (I’ll call her Vicki, because she has kids and friends online and doesn’t want the embarrassment of her wasted time being so public), talked details. As she put it, he was afraid of vaginas. And I added, I think he is afraid of women.
ETA: I now think he is just afraid. Possibly of himself. But as long as he keeps finding receptacles, he can hide that fear even from himself.
I’m trying to convince her and others we know about to get together with some wine and just tell our stories… on video. I think it would be hysterical and healing. I don’t need to heal anymore, surprisingly.
But as I told her, it was the timing. Had this happened just after one of the very few great moments, it would have hurt like hell. But it had been a week, and again, it fades and gets colder with each day that passes.
While there are plenty of ‘players’ out there, Steven does tell women he is fixed, and he isn’t. And he convinces women that she is the only one… and so no condom… He assures us he is clean and doesn’t have anything. Yep, that’s on us… every one of needs to be responsible for our own health and safety.
Vicki is concerned about other women getting drawn in and getting pregnant. It’s happened.
While I don’t really feel a lot of vengeance here, again because I knew better from the beginning and just stayed to see what would happen, I am toying with having some fun.
Some years ago, my sister was married to a dick. He played all sorts of mind games and the whole push away and pull back and finally just after he said they were going to work through it, she got a text message from his girlfriend. I didn’t like him much (at all), but I wasn’t involved… until…
She and I were making arrangements to pick up a couple of my horses and move them to South Carolina where I lived. And the dick filed for divorce and simultaneously had his lawyer confiscate the truck and horse trailer, for ‘safe keeping’. He had also changed the lock on HER storage unit. So, now I’m stranded in Wisconsin, my horses are in California and I’m annoyed. Now he’s involved me.
Turns out that before he left for his out-of-state job, he took the keys to everything.
Oh.. now I’m in it. This was just bad timing on his part. One of the keys he was sure to take was to the gun cabinet.
And the storage unit that had the lock changed? I went next door to the service garage and borrowed bolt cutters. Done. I took pictures for Facebook memories.
We sold the mule he liked, a skid steer, several wagons, and other stuff that didn’t have a title and honestly was either hers alone or was theirs equally.
I haven’t lost a minute of sleep over that. I even took stuff to South Carolina and sold it for her there. He made a lot more money than she did and she was left at home taking care of the farm and horses and paying bills. AND… he had had his paycheck withheld and only paid the mortgage. On her little salary, she paid for horse feed (10 horses) the cattle (5) the dogs (3) all the other bills, vets, hay, truck (that he had confiscated) trailer (same) and her food. And… now a divorce attorney. So, yeah… he pissed me off.
Fast forward to now and I was blissfully single. He contacts me on facebook (this is a common MO for him, just randomly sends friend requests and sees who answers him) and starts drawing me in. Purposefully. He knew exactly what he was doing. This was not an ‘oops, my bad’… still, I would have left quietly a couple weeks ago when I tried a couple times to end it. But no, he talked me back in. Again… purposefully.
Had the good fire station captain taken even a modicum of interest in me and read just about anything I have ever posted, either here or on social media… he would have seen this is something he should walk away from. I’m not a victim. You tell me you have a video of me in a compromising position, and I’m gonna say I hope you got my good side. Had he taken just a moment to learn anything about me, he likely would have found that I am a writer.
But he didn’t walk away. Probably has more confidence in his abilities than he really should. I said in the last post that I thought he didn’t mean to hurt anybody and was truly sorry. I’ve rethought that position.
Yeah, he has ticked me off. And now he has me in a position I’m really good at. I’m a very good thinker. It’s what makes me good in my business of helping small businesses. I can think. And now I’m having fun.
The video is just one idea.
He wanted to be famous.
Let me help. 🙂
ETA: I was feeling snarkey when I wrote the above. A bit self-empowering, and likely wrote this just after hearing from an ex who was still reeling and suffering a bit with PTSD. Again, this is not just a philanderer. It’s a drawn out game of push and pull and manipulation and feeding his needs. I was free far easier than most others, ans again, I think it was due to my questioning his motives.
If you wish to read the whole story in order, now with updates (edited to add), on my experience with Steven Monteforte (AKA Steven Joseph, as this blog has put a crimp in his game. And he has a different job now… Piedmont Ambulance and Keystone Ambulance. And this is his new facebook page)
Post 13 Steven Monteforte brief update.