Hey there! Welcome back to Focus on You! I’m Dachia.

I think last week I mentioned I would talk more about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. I should probably tell you that I am NOT a psychologist… I just love learning about why we are who we are and what makes us tick and how we can be better.

Happier.

We got to the third level of his pyramid, but I don’t think I explained what the level meant.

To recap, the bottom level, the most basic level of needs is our physiological needs. We have people in this country, in this world, who are struggling with that need. And it is my belief that a person cannot move on until they have conquered that need. And again I do get far more into this on a blog post in Dashboard Wisdom, which eventually will be a podcast, but just to say very briefly here that it is also my contention that an individual cannot simply be handed this level.

If a person does not control their own pyramid, their own hierarchy, they cannot move on. What could be worse is that I think a person cannot even recognize there is something beyond the level they are at.

They see that some people, famous and rich, are at what they think is a higher level but across a barren tundra they could never hope to cross.

And the issue here, one of them, is that what they are seeing is not even on the hierarchy. It’s useless. But they are led to believe that what they are seeing is important and within reach and something to strive for.

Let me see if I can make this more visual. All of us are on the hierarchy needs. Our own pyramid. We do not share it with anybody. We are not competing with anybody. There is plenty of everything for everybody. It doesn’t matter that one person is using so much more than anybody else. There is still plenty for all.

This is not rose colored glasses BS… this is fact.

The problem arises when some of us are led to believe that what we want or should want is something that somebody else has.

So we have our own pyramid of needs and it is all ours but what we are shown is something that is not on our pyramid. And we lose track of our own needs and where we are and how we can move on. It’s like we are trying to jump off our pyramid and onto a billboard.

My hope here, my goal, is to help you see where you are on your own pyramid and help you move to your next level.

On the 3rd level is Love and belongingness needs – after physiological and safety needs have been fulfilled, the third level of human needs is social and involves feelings of belongingness. We each have a need for for interpersonal relationships. It motivates our behavior.

Examples include friendship, intimacy, trust, and acceptance, receiving and giving affection and love. Affiliating, being part of a group (family, friends, work).

While there are several examples of this, my favorite is receiving and giving affection and love.

I think this is a place to restate that we have to have achieved the first two levels to at least some degree in order to be able to to share ourselves with someone.

If we are insecure in our surroundings… meaning we don’t have a sable home and don’t know where are our next meal is coming from, I don’t think we are able to truly give or receive that intimate connection.

And to retouch on something that perhaps I only alluded to previously… I think we must have an active role in achieving those first two levels, as well as the other 3.

It is my contention, and I think it is evidenced by our population and their socio-economic breakdowns, that people who are living on programs, particularly federal ones, are stagnant in those first two levels.

Basically, they are pets.

It used to be that if someone fell on hard times, the community, the neighborhood, individual neighbors would lend a hand. If an individual did seek or accept help from a program, they had some tasks to complete.

Now, those programs have taken the place of community involvement, thus syphoning a bit of humanity from everybody else in that community…. But it is never secure. It is never something the individual can control. There is no way to choose a different income. There is no way to move on from that level without being punished by receiving less benefit from the program.

Now, I’m not saying that the programs should continue awarding the same benefits no matter what… I’m saying that the decrease in benefits when somebody strives for more is the antithesis of how the real world on the hierarchy of needs works. Therefore, these peopler being setup to fail from the start.

Again, I spend more time on this line of thinking elsewhere, my goal here is to share the framework of the pyramid and help those of you that have achieved the first two levels and are solid in the 3rd and 4th and are reaching for that top one- Self-Actualization. That’s where the joy of life is.

Now, that is not to say that you cannot live in joy at every other level. You ca and should. It’s simply a choice. I hope you choose it.

Even homeless people can be living in joy. It has nothing to do with status.

It has everything to do with our definitions and decisions.

Now for my part, I want to help you achieve self-actualization through creation and expression. That’s the goal and purpose of the membership site. To provide resources and thoughts and community to help you do that. 

I have advice on creating a website, starting a podcast, building an online platform… whatever your voice turns out to be, I’m here to help you find it and do something with it.

Again… your happiness is your choice. If it entails creating something and sharing it online, I’d like to help you. And going back to the roots of this podcast, if your creation turns out to be a small business, I gotcha covered.

Remember that the membership site is open by invitation. I just want to be sure that we jive- that I meet your needs.

I’m back next week. Might still be talking about Maslow… hard to say. My goal on this podcast is to help myself figure out who I am and how I can help you do the same.

Take care of yourself and remember to choose happiness.